Sunday
Mom was sleeping soundly when I arrived, still in her clothes from yesterday. I picked up her room, watered her violets, and tried to keep myself busy. About every 20 minutes I’d try to wake her up, but she kept saying she wanted to sleep a little longer. I always figured if she’s that tired it’s better to leave her alone if possible. So we did this all morning long, until I finally got her awake enough to ask her if she wanted to get up, or if she’d prefer to stay in bed. She told me she’d rather stay in bed, so I told her I was going to run some errands and I’d see her tomorrow. I warned the staff on my way out, and they said they’d be in to get her up this afternoon.
Monday
Mom was actually up when I arrived today. She told me she’d slept well and felt good. I saw the package from Lynn on her plant stand yesterday, and it was still there. So I handed it to her and told her she had a present. She was like a little kid opening up an unexpected gift. She kept looking over her selection of snacks, and immediately opened the turtles and popped one in her mouth. She told me they were nice and fresh, and seemed very well pleased. She was fussing about getting a thank you note written, so I suggested she just call her instead. Mom thought that was a good idea, and Lynn seemed pleased that Mom was relatively sound of mind this morning. After that, Mom and I talked all morning, and she seemed to be in very good shape. She was happy when I took her to lunch. Staff stopped me before I left, though, and told me they hadn’t been able to get Mom up until late yesterday, and she had refused to take her morning pills all together. That’s not good, but I’m not sure there’s much we can do about it. I’m sure they’ll watch it; hope it doesn’t happen too often.
Tuesday
Staff was just finishing up Mom’s shower when I arrived. Mom looked ticked off, and the staff confirmed that she hadn’t wanted to get in the shower and had fought with them before she got in there. One of them had a scratch down her forearm from Mom. She said she was all right, but that was why she’d had to get two others to help her handle Mom. When they finished up and left, Mom was up and dressed, but not really talking to me yet. She eventually asked me if she could go brush her hair, and of course I said sure, to do whatever she wanted. She went in the bathroom, and I heard her banging around in there but couldn’t tell what it was she was doing. After 15 minutes, I asked her if she wanted help. She said no, she was just combing her hair (why she was still at it after 15 minutes baffles me—she doesn’t have that much hair!) So I left her alone, and another 10 minutes later she finally came out into the living room. She’d lost the edge in her voice, and seemed pretty happy. So we just talked for awhile, and she seemed reasonably content. The nurse came by with her morning meds, and after Mom took them she fell asleep in her chair. She napped until lunchtime and was engrossed in conversation with her tablemates when I left
Wednesday
Mom was sound asleep when I arrived. I’d brought her up her Christmas cookies and thought that might entice her to get up, but I couldn’t even get her to look at me. She told me she didn’t know how to open her eyes…..and she didn’t know how to sit up…..and she didn’t know how to roll over….but she didn’t want me to get someone to help her, because she could do it by herself. I tried every 15 minutes or so until 11:30 and finally gave up. She just wanted to ‘sleep a little more’. I don’t know if she slept for 10 more minutes or for hours. I alerted the staff when I left that she was still in bed. We’re all getting used to this roller coaster behavior. Since she’d been up the last two days, it was time for her to have another of her ‘sleep’ days. I just hope she gets up in time to eat something today.
Thursday
Today was actually a good day. When I arrived staff told me Mom had been up early, came down for breakfast, and was doing laps in the hallway. I went to her room, but it was empty. I started around the square hallways, and finally caught up with her back at the front door. She was in really good spirits and had a huge smile on her face. I took her back to her room, and we talked for a couple of hours almost non-stop. She asked me a lot of questions about the family (many of them more than once) and seemed to be aware that it was December, and almost time for Christmas. It was a pleasant morning. She was still happy when I took her down for lunch, and was chatting with her tablemates when I left.
Friday
Today was tough. Mom was still in bed when I arrived, but was awake. I tried talking to her, but she wasn’t responsive. I knew the staff would be in soon to give her a shower, so I went about laying out clothes and getting out fresh towels. I still couldn’t get Mom up, so I sat in the living room and waited. Staff came in shortly and they were able to persuade her to get up and got her in the shower. About 20 minutes later they brought her out, all squeaky clean. They left, and Mom seemed okay but not quite in touch with the day. She finally said ‘you’re always here….who are you?’ When I told her who I was, she asked if she had any other children. So, I told her about all of her daughters, and then we went through her sisters, and then we went through her grandchildren, etc. It was like all new information to me. Then she started moving her hand around in circles, and said ‘I know these are fingers, but what are these?” and waggled her foot. I told her those were toes. We went through several more sets of really awkward questions, and then went through her daughters and sisters multiple more times. She kept sighing loudly, and finally said she was tired of working her memory so hard. It was obvious she was feeling melancholy and a little morose. I asked her what she wanted for Christmas, and she said she’d like to have a nice meal with all of us. It made me feel sad, knowing that was one thing I couldn’t do for her. No matter what I tried to change the subject to, she kept coming back to something that made her feel bad. I hope she cheers up this afternoon.
Saturday
Mom was sleeping fitfully when I arrived. She kept flipping over, and grumbling in her sleep. I tried several times to wake her up, but she seemed so restless I tried to leave her alone. I eventually got her to talk to me about 11:00. I asked if she wanted to get up or if she wanted to stay in bed, and she said she thought she should get up. So I helped her get up, but knew her mood was still very unsettled. I got her into the bathroom, and told her I’d laid her clothes out, and she started lashing out at me verbally. She told me she didn’t care what anyone said, she was moving out of this place. When I asked her why, she fussed and fumed and eventually came up with she was tired of being told what to do. Since I know no one had been in her room all morning, I asked what had caused her to become so angry, and she couldn’t answer me. She was crying and angry, and taking objection with everything I said. I asked if she wanted me to help her get dressed, and she insisted she could do it alone, so I went into the living room and left her alone. Every 5 minutes she’d say something, and I’d run in to see what she was saying. She remained really angry, and talked about wishing Dad had taken her with him when he left. She wanted to know what I’d done with Gretchen. She didn’t know why she couldn’t do what she wanted, but when I asked what she wanted to do, she couldn’t tell me. I tried very hard not to feed her anger, so I just let her unload. Finally, right before noon, she came out of the bathroom fully dressed, looked at me, smiled, and said, ‘well, I didn’t know you were here!’ I told her I’d been there more than three hours, and she asked me why I didn’t wake her up. When I told her I’d helped her get up more than an hour ago, she just ignored it. She came into the living room and put on her shoes and socks. She seemed perfectly happy and wasn’t at all upset anymore. When I took her down to lunch and told her I’d see her tomorrow, she answered cheerfully ‘I’ll be here!’ I wish I could get over the frustration that quickly, but I guess I feel better knowing she won’t be fussing all afternoon.
